


G, PG, or Light PG-13 Only

by Diary



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Allison Argent & Vernon Boyd & Erica Reyes, Allison Argent & Lydia Martin Friendship, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Bechdel Test Fail, Cuddling & Snuggling, Disturbing Themes, Dubious Consent, Established Allison Argent/Isaac Lahey, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Female Character of Color, Implied Sexual Content, Interspecies Romance, Isaac Lahey & Erica Reyes Friendship, Love, POV Multiple, Past Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Post-Season/Series 02 AU, Romance, Sex Talk, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: Contains potentially triggering sexual elements. "He really likes you, Allison. But sex bothers him.” Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	G, PG, or Light PG-13 Only

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Teen Wolf.

He knows he and Allison aren’t going to last, and he knows, if he does this, even a shower won’t keep Scott from knowing and being upset.

“Do you want this,” she asks.

Her eyes are kind and soft, her tone is gentle, and her touch is light.

This would be so much easier if her eyes were hard and cold, her tone unforgiving, and her touch sure and painful. He’s been on the receiving end of all it, and right now, he’d take a merciless hunter with Chinese ring daggers over this beautiful, wonderful girl who’s willing to let him touch her.

“Of course, I want it,” he answers. “Uh, do you?”

Nodding, she smiles and draws his hands closer. “If you want to stop-”

“Why would I ever want to stop? But I mean, of course, if you did, I would. Not just because you and your dad and Scott would take turns killing me, but- I wouldn’t ever want to hurt anyone when it comes to this.”

She beams, and everything inside and outside of her is happy.

Leaning back on the bed, she pulls him along, guides his hands, and he lets his instincts take over as best they can.

…

When it’s over, he thinks, _I’m not a virgin, anymore._

She curls closer to him. “Was it- are you happy?”

He nods. “Are you?”

“Very.” She kisses him.

She knew how to move, and her movements were steady and sure. He fumbled a lot and had to be guided.

It’s probably for the best she be charmed or pitying or bemused, but he’s much better at dealing with scorn, ridicule, and outright disgust.

He breathes in the smell of what they did, listens to her steady heartbeat, and tries to count the tiny bumps on her ceiling.

…

After he leaves, he goes to Erica’s house.

In the living room, she glares at him.

“She’s my girlfriend,” he tries to explain.

Shrugging, she rolls her eyes. “Yeah, she is. Do whatever you want.”

Against his will, his heartbeat changes, and Erica hears it, too.

“Isaac?”

He can’t look at her.

She grabs his hand, pulls him onto the couch, and when the safe feeling of her wrapped around him hits, he takes shuddery breaths.

“Did she hurt you?”

“No,” he insists.

“Okay. I believe you. You’re not going home tonight. Do you want me to call Boyd?"

The last thing he wants is Boyd to see him like this. “No. Please. I get your parents- but can we please have a sleepover?”

“Alright. We still have to sleep in here, though. You can have the couch.”

…

Curled up on the couch with her, he says, “This is my business. I know, you’re my friend, but if I got involved with stuff between you and Boyd- it’s the same.”

He can tell she doesn’t believe it.

Once, she had wanted to practise kissing, and somehow, he’d managed to say no. She’d been proud of him and never pressed the subject. It hadn’t stopped her from playing with his hair, holding his hand, insisting on piggy-backs, and letting him and Boyd have sleepovers in her living room.

“Unless she brings something up, I won’t say anything,” she finally says. “But- Isaac, why did you do it?”

“Because, I did want to.”

“Was it bad?”

“No!”

She tugs his hair in warning.

“Sorry.”

“It sounds like you wanted to want to.”

“No,” he insists. “I wanted to.”

He likes the idea of sex, and just because he wasn’t quite as ready earlier- he’s sure, if Allison lets him do it again, he’ll be more comfortable.

…

Typing _why does sex keep scaring me_ gives him articles about women, domestic violence, and asexuality.

He’s not sure _I’ve wanted sex since puberty, I have a wonderful girlfriend who I want to have sex with, but when we do, I always feel wrong_ would give him anything better.

…

At a school picnic table, Allison preemptively tells Lydia, “I need you to try not to insult my boyfriend, and I need you to promise you absolutely won’t say anything to Isaac about what we talk about.”

Lydia gives her a piercing look. “Allison, if you’re pregnant-”

“What? No! God, no. Lydia, I promise, I’m not pregnant.”

“But if you were-”

“I’d call you before I did anything or made any decisions,” she promises.

“Okay,” Lydia says. “From your lips to my ears is where our conversations ends.”

“Thanks.”

She tries to think of how to best voice-

“Do you want to break up with him?”

“No,” she automatically answers.

“Do you think he wants to break up with you?”

“No,” she answers. “Or I hope- Am I a good girlfriend? Before Scott, I never had a serious boyfriend, and- I think I was a good girlfriend to him.”

“Sweetie, you’re a better girlfriend than any teenage werewolf deserves,” Lydia assures her.

She smiles. “Thanks.”

“Now, what has Isaac done to make you doubt this?”

“It’s not his fault,” she insists.

“I’ll decide that once you answer.”

Sighing, she props her chin on her hand.

Lydia waits.

“Most of the time, he seems happy,” Allison says. “There are times he’ll look at me, and I’ll know he wants to be with me. But then, there are times when- I can’t exactly explain it. I just have a feeling that something’s off. And I don’t know if he’s just having a bad day, or if he’s remembering how I stabbed him and kidnapped and tortured his best friends.”

“I don’t have any objections to you dating him, but just a reminder: They tried to kill me first.”

Sheepishly, Allison nods.

Lydia starts to say something, but Allison jumps when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

Erica declares, “You and I need to talk privately. Right now.”

…

After Lydia is convinced to let her go, Allison finds herself leaning against the school building.

Erica scowls for a long moment before sighing. “You know, I really hate you even more for this. I’ve been a good friend to Isaac. Never one of the ones who said, ‘I’m doing this for his own good.’ But guess what? Whether he agrees or not, this really is.”

Through her hurt and confusion, Allison says, “Erica, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I promised Isaac I wouldn’t say anything unless you did, and this may or may not count. Close enough."

Before Allison can try again, Erica blurts out, “Sex bothers him. I don’t know why. But this isn’t me trying to cause problems. Every time he has sex with you, he comes over to my house, and we curl up together. He really likes you, Allison. But sex bothers him.”

She can see and hear the truth of Erica’s words, and she doesn’t know what she feels.

Quietly, Erica says, “I’m asking you nicely: Please, don’t take this out on him. If you have to go after someone, I’m right here, but he never wanted you to know.”

This only makes things worse, but she promises, “I’m not going after anybody, Erica.”

…

She sends Isaac a text telling him she has some private stuff to take care of and will meet him in a few days before locking herself in her room.

Even when she was aiming arrows straight at Boyd’s chest and turning the knob to watch Erica convulse, she can’t bring herself to believe she ever would have- Kate did something similar, she thinks with a wave of nausea.

Before they had full-out sex, they’d done several other things. There was one thing she hadn’t liked, and he’d never pushed for them to try it again. Then, she’d suggested something, and he’d agreed but quickly stopped things. He was tentative and seemed a step away from apologising, but she’d kissed him, told him it was fine, and distracted him with some story about something involving her childhood.

She’d thought she’d done everything right.

She doesn’t know how she could have missed- Isaac was inexperienced and unsure, but she’d completely missed any signs of him not actually wanting what they were doing.

_Am I rapist?_

There’s a knock on her door.

Beyond her fear, confusion, and sadness, there’s anger at both herself and Isaac, but she knows the anger towards him isn’t fair.

“Allisson? Sweetheart, are you up? Dinner’s ready.”

“Later, Dad,” she calls. “I’m busy right now.”

He sighs. “If Isaac’s in there, he’s welcome to join. Please. We agreed-”

“Isaac isn’t in here,” she snaps. “I’ve had a horrible day, and I’d like to be left alone!”

She can feel his hesitation through the door.

“I’m here if you want to talk,” he offers.

She hears him walk away.

…

“Allison?”

“Still busy.”

She doesn’t hear him walk away.

“I haven’t lied to you in months,” he quietly tells her.

She almost snaps, _Y_ _ou mean you haven’t been caught telling any_.

Instead, she asks, “Is that your way of accusing me of lying right now?”

“No,” he answers. “That’s my way of telling you, you truly can trust me. If there’s a new threat, if something’s going on with you and Isaac, if- I don’t know, sweetheart. But I’m not something you have to plan around anymore.”

She gets up, opens the door, and trudges back over to her bed.

When he sits down and moves her hair, he notes, “You’ve been crying.”

“I hurt Isaac. Don’t tell me it’s okay. Don’t tell me I’m not like Kate. I didn’t mean to, and if I realised I was, I wouldn’t have, but I hurt him, Dad. If he did this to me, code or no code, you would kill him.”

“Sweetheart, what did you do?”

“We’ve been having sex,” she dully tells him. “I thought it was something we both wanted. It turns out, he’s been going to Erica’s afterwards and trying to deal with- he doesn’t have any parents to try to hurt me. Erica isn’t trying to. If someone else did this to Isaac or Scott or any of them, even Derek again, I’d want to hurt them.”

Sighing, he pulls her close. “Here’s something I never thought I’d have to tell my teenage daughter: The first time I was with someone, it wasn’t a good experience. She was a little older and confident. Very pretty. She assumed I wanted to go that far, and I had absolutely no idea how to tell her that I wasn’t ready.”

“Dad-”

“We teach girls to say ‘no’, and then, sometimes, we don’t believe them when they say they did. And I’ve been guilty myself of assuming every boy who comes near you only wants one thing.”

Placing his hand under her chin, he turns her head. “Look at me, baby.”

She forces herself to.

“What’s happened between you and Isaac isn’t good. You need to try to fix it. But if he said ‘yes’, if you always respected any ‘nos’ he said, if you honestly didn’t know he was feeling all these things, then, you shouldn’t blame yourself. I understand not wanting to blame him, but you need to recognise he did lie. He chose to make you believe it was okay. Blame society, blame his parents, hell, blame me if you have to, but don’t blame yourself. You’re a good person, Allison, and you would never deliberately hurt someone in such a way. You aren’t like Kate.”

She doesn’t believe him, but she nods.

Kissing her forehead, he lets go. “Uh, about the other parts of you having sex-”

“Vaginal ring, condoms every time,” she answers. “And even though I’m probably not going to be having any sex for a long, long time, at this point, you can’t stop me if I want to.”

“Right.” He hesitates. “I thought- your mother told me the doctor prescribed you the pill.”

“He did. And it worked great for my periods, but when I started getting serious with Scott, Lydia thought something different might be better. So, she drove me to Planned Parenthood one weekend. It turns out, she was right. I really don’t think you want me to go into why and how.”

“As long as you’re healthy and safe,” he says. “Are you okay, now?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “I’ll talk to Isaac tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to drive you? Or go pick him up? I can leave for a few hours.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she softly says. “But I’ve got this handled.”

Hopefully, she thinks.

…

After school, she takes Isaac to the penthouse and wishes her fear wasn’t making her so hesitant.

She has a mental list: _Don’t yell, don’t use accusatory language, and for the love of all that is holy, make sure there are no weapons within sight, never mind within reach_.

Isaac kisses her, and she moves away.

The hurt look in his eyes makes her even more miserable.

Until now, she’s deliberately avoided thinking about her relationship with Scott vs their relationship, but fair or not, cruel or not, there’s the thought of, _It was nice having a boyfriend who wanted me just as badly and who I didn’t have to worry about crossing the line into rapist territory with._

“We’re not going to have sex, anymore,” she blurts out.

Instead of relief, he looks vaguely worried and outright confused.

“Did- did I do something-”

“Let’s sit down,” she says.

They do.

“Allison?” His touch on her arm is so tentatively light she can barely feel it.

“Don’t go after Erica,” she tells him. “For one, she can kick your ass, and two, she loves you. Right or wrong, she felt the need to do something.”

He tenses. “What did she tell you?”

“That you don’t feel good after sex,” she forces herself to answer. “I’m guessing you probably don’t during, either. And I’m already breaking the rules I had in my head for this conversation, but: Do you know how that makes me feel? This should be about you, but somehow, I keep coming back to me. This is another thing I can never take back, Isaac. I was flippant in the supply closet, but the truth is, what I did to you, what I tried to do to Derek, and what I did to Boyd and Erica especially, I am so sorry for. And I’m sorry about this, too.”

He wraps his arms around her, and through her surprise, she feels a little bit better.

Sighing, she relaxes into the touch.

“I want to,” he tells her. “I think about it all the time. Sometimes, uh, I do more than think about it. Like in the shower? It’s just, when it’s happening- I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I promise, this really doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Isaac.” Reaching up, she finds one of his hands.

“There is, though.”

“Well, then, there are things wrong with me, too,” she responds. “Part of it’s on our parents and Peter Hale and my aunt, and part of it’s just on us. But you not being ready for sex isn’t a problem. You having it with me anyways is.”

“Allison, please, don’t break up with me.”

Suddenly, part of her wants to scream.

The few times someone tried to touch her when she didn’t want it, she almost always stopped them, and doing so was usually unpleasant for them.

She can’t truly understand what rape victims and victims of molestation and girls who feel they have to give into sex with their boyfriends feel like, but she’s always instinctively understood non-consensual sex is a horrifying thing for anyone to be subjected to.

Isaac (hopefully) doesn’t exactly fit into any of the categories, but he’s close to the last one, and he’s been dealing with sex that makes him feel bad, and this is his response.

She’s seen him angry and vengeful. She’s seen him firm and resolute in his decisions.

He shouldn’t be practically begging her not to break up with him when she’s the one who’s been hurting him.

“I don’t want to break up,” she honestly tells him. “But something like this- I have to try to make sure it never happens again. So, if you want to stay with me, I’m going to need you tell me some things right now. And I’m telling you right now, Isaac, that if you ever keep something like this from again or even if you just lie to me about something, we’re through. If there’s any chance of us trusting each other- I’ll promise you the same.”

“I do trust you.”

“No, you don’t,” she manages to patiently say. “If you did, we wouldn’t have been having sex. I wouldn’t have found out from Erica.”

“If you’re wondering, I wasn’t afraid of you,” he says. “I’m used to doing things that- to make other people happy. I wanted to make you happy, and I wanted to be the type of guy who could have sex with his girlfriend and know how lucky he was.”

“I haven’t said it, but I care about you being happy, too,” she says.

“I know that. You didn’t need to say it.”

“What else do I need to know, Isaac?”

“Nothing, I swear,” he answers. “You can ask Erica. I love kissing you, Allison, and I like the other stuff, too. I’m fine with everything else, it’s just when we go all the way-” He trails off.

“We can still kiss, but none of the other stuff, either, for right now,” she says.

There's vague alarm in his tone when he protests, “I really like holding your hand."

Hiding her smile and managing not to laugh, she says, “I’ll clarify: Everything G and PG is fine, unless you don’t want to. Then, I’m going to trust you to tell me. Everything PG-13, aside from maybe making out, and higher is off.”

“For how long?”

Shrugging, she pushes away the irritation. “If you really want to do something more and are honestly ready for it, we can talk about it, but this isn’t really a thing you can put a time-limit on, Isaac.”

“But-”

Turning slightly to look at him, she suggests, “I’m not saying we’re going to do anything, but if we’re still together by the summer, we can talk and see if you might be ready. If you’re not, then, fine. If you think you might be, we’ll see. Okay?”

He nods. “Can I kiss you, now?”

When she turns fully, he loosens his arms and readjusts his hands.

“Yes,” she answers.

…

Later, they’re watching a DVD, and he takes a deep breath. “What if- I mean, we could spend the rest of our lives together. It’s- a possibility. What if I never do?”

She mutes the TV. “If I fall in love with you, it won’t be because of any sex we are or aren’t having. Maybe some people really do need sex as part of a relationship, but I don’t think either of us is the type. You can keep doing things in the shower, and I can keep doing my own things.”

Lydia once helped her order a vibrator and some other sex toys. They don’t give her the same rush and happiness as when she’s having sex, but they did help her learn more about herself and help make things better with her and Scott. There have been times in the past she didn’t want sex but did want some private time alone with them.

“Okay,” he agrees.

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

“You- you don’t need to always ask. I promise, Allison, if I don’t want something, I’ll tell you. And I always like kissing you.”

Leaning over, she kisses him. “When you want something, you do need to ask, okay? This relationship is about both of us.”

“In that case, I’d really like to hold you right now,” he says. “And I will. Ask in the future.”

“I’d like that, too.”

…

They’re lying on the couch together and watching another DVD when her dad comes home. “Sweetheart,” he greets. “Isaac.”

She feels Isaac move slightly, and he pauses the TV.

“Hey, dad,” she says. She lifts her head up so he can kiss her forehead. “Isaac and I are going to meet Erica and Boyd for dinner later, but if you want, I can help you make something.”

“No, I’ve had a long day. I’m going to go lie down.”

“Will the TV bother you? We can watch my IPod instead.”

“No. It’s fine. Uh, everything okay with you two?”

“Fine,” Isaac politely answers.

Her dad hesitates. “Far be it for me to get involved in whatever’s going on-”

She can’t help but roll her eyes.

“But I’ve accepted the fact you’re going to have him in your room.”

“Not anymore,” she replies. “For right now, we’re either staying on the couch or keeping my door opened.”

They can easily refrain from having sex with the door closed, but she thinks doing things this way for right now will help Isaac feel more comfortable and less likely to pressure himself into trying things he’s not ready for.

Surprising her, Isaac rises up slightly. “I’m guessing you know something about all this. It wasn’t her fault I got hurt. We’re trying to work through things.”

“Good,” her dad says. Reaching down, he trails his fingers through her hair. “Be safe later tonight, sweetheart, and call me if you need anything. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He goes to his room and closes his door.

Isaac lies fully back down, and she rearranges herself back into his arms and un-pauses the DVD.


End file.
